PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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