YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
