are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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