I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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