She kept screaming "best case scenario"
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
