Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
