It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
