can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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