i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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