69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
