look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
