my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
