Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Operation Purity has been aborted
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oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
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I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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