Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
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