So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I want to fling myself into the sun
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
