Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
