the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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