I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
