I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
