Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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