Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
