Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
