how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
