We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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