My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
