come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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