It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
