I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in