I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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