Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize