I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
