Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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