awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
