If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize