im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
