Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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