He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
