we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
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