i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
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Absence makes the cock grow harder.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
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All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
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