I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
