By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too