My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldnâ€™t Be More Proud
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.