i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.