you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.