The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
