Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize