I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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