Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
