Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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