Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Randomize