Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
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Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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