He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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