GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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