So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
