Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Randomize
