We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize