New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize