they're staring at me
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face