when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
